.

Every now and again I get emails from random women from random countries telling me that we're meant to be together and we're soul mates who just haven't found each other yet. The very fact that I don't know who the hell she is, easily leads me to imagine a skinny Ukranian slave girl with a gaunt face, and a pimp/people trafficker lurking in her shadow ready to rob or kill me.

Anyway, the sentiments are nice, however the translation makes it amusing...

"Hello to you
 
It's better to be alone than to be with someone and feel lonely. So, here we
are for not to be lonely. Here we hope to find part of our sole. I love family,
forests, friends, whales, laughing, puppy dogs and kittens, singing karaoke,
photography, holding hands, a good movie, kissing for hours, Christmas, snow,
long walks, picnics, wild flowers, love, a fireplace, cuddling, antiques, old
buildings, roses, ducks, spring time, a secret place to share, sunsets, candle
lit dinners, the night sky, penguins, music, dancing, Chinese food, quaint
little towns... and so much more that life has to offer. I'm also just a girl,
standing in front of a man, asking him to love her."

First thing's first, Miss. Arachnia. I don't go dating to find parts of shoes. I have a full time job which allows me to buy a whole shoe. Two of them.

I also love forests, whales and penguins, who wouldn't?!

I appreciate that you're just a girl, standing in front of him, asking him to love her. Maybe you shouldn't be emailing me like this while he's standing there...

Anyone else get these emails??